Monday, 19 December 2011

The Awesomeness of Honesty (and cubicle-in-progress)

Pssst.

Hey, you. Yes, I mean you. Can I make one spiritual-living recommendation for you on this festive almost-the-holidays Monday? Something that has the power to instantly make you feel lighter, freer, and more like yourself?

Go tell somebody how you're feeling. Go talk about exactly what's on your mind. It can be good OR bad (both will feel awesome), although you'll probably have more motivation to do it if it's something bad/stressful/hard to deal with. That thing that's been driving you nuts all day that you've tried to avoid in a series of successive fails, only to have it reappear stronger and more nagging than ever? Whatever it is, forget about trying to pretend it's not there. Don't worry about putting on a "brave" face for people around you. Don't feel selfish for wanting to acknowledge, validate, or talk about what's affecting YOU at this moment. You think you're doing everyone else a favour by keeping it to yourself (I know, because I do it all the time), but you're actually depriving them of a lighter, freer you by trapping inside that which can easily be released with a simple conversation. Whatever it is, it's not nearly as aversive as it seems when you actually look it in the eye and acknowledge it.

So find a supportive friend, family member, whatever...someone who has a relatively open mind and a good listening ear...and just tell them how you're feeling, right now. Try not to censor it. Try not to just tell them what you think they wanna hear. This is no easy feat (particularly for those of us who are used to playing the stoic hero character in our lives.) It takes an initial wave of bravery, determination, and a degree of self-awareness, of self-realization that this could be the simple answer to all of that useless dead weight you've been lugging around with you. It's hard... but it's possible, and it gets easier and easier with practice. In order to avoid falling into the "telling people what they want to hear" trap (or if you just don't feel comfortable sharing what you're feeling at this moment), check in with yourself first. "How am I feeling right at this moment?". Try to describe it to yourself. Don't describe how you expect to be feeling, or how you think you should be feeling, or how you'd like to feel....just try to describe exactly how you do actually feel. Say it out loud, or at least say it in your head. If you've spoken the truth, you'll feel like someone just lifted a 2lb weight off your head that you didn't even know was there this whole time. It'll come right back at first. But keep practicing.  I lived and breathed this for this whole week after a couple of weeks of inner volatility, and I can't tell you how much freer I feel. So let's feel free together...whaddaya say?

xo Janine

PS. I end with these updated photos of my cubicle-reno-in-progress...still needs some work, but I arrive at my desk in a way better mood than I did when I had a wall of pure grey/beige scenery staring back at me.



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