As of December 1, I officially become a working girl.
Like with most things in life, this opportunity presented itself in a rather unexpected way. Feeling frustrated and unmotivated about 3 weeks ago, I was just leaving the house to be screened for a diabetic research study at UHN by a doctor I've known for years. Before I left, my foresightful mother suggested, "why not ask him if he knows of any job opportunities?" I shook my head and muttered "I doubt it", explaining to her that I was pretty sure any job opportunities would be posted on the UHN website, which I'd already checked millions of times. "Well, it's worth a try, isn't it?" she persisted. I shrugged. I left. I reflected on it on the way there. By the time I arrived, I realized she was right (mothers often are). This defeatist attitude was not going to get my where I wanted to go. I would be the facilitator of my own unfortunate fate if I didn't use every connection I had at my disposal to try to make something happen for myself. "Okay. Let's give this a shot." I thought, as I walked in to see him.
Three weeks later, I found myself sitting in the office of a prominent UHN nephrologist, agreeing to a one-year full-time contract as a research associate/occupational therapist consultant for a new project studying the functional outcomes of geriatric clients on dialysis.
Life always teaches you the lessons you need to learn the most, when you need to learn them the most. I'm reminded of this repeatedly as circumstances like the one above turn out as they do. If life had a voice, here's what it said to me: First of all, never say never. I almost did. It would have been a colossal mistake. You find what you're looking for in the most unexpected of places, so never stop looking, and never give up hope. Second of all, listen to the advice of people around you. Open yourself up. Let it change you, influence you, and help you grow. I almost got stuck in the rut of my own mind... but at any given moment, someone may be more enlightened than you are and ready to shine a light onto your situation, helping you to wake up yourself. And finally...be grateful, and take credit for nothing. It's so tempting to assume responsibility for both the good and bad things that happen in your life...but where would I be without my mother's suggestion, my doctor's incredibly helpful act of spreading my CV around to his colleagues, my incredible OT preceptor references (who first of all enabled me to develop the skills I currently have thanks to their support, encouragement, openness and guidance, and then went to bat for me by providing humbling reports about me to my prospective employer)? I would be nowhere. It would not have happened as it did. Life is a cascading series of interactions between people and things, and you never single-handedly do ANYthing. So be grateful when it goes well, and forgiving of yourself when it doesn't.
(Thank you, life, for whispering that into my ear when I needed it the most.)
Now here I stand, about to take that first step. I feel a million different ways about it, and they seem to come in waves: Grateful. Nervous. Excited. Confident. Inexperienced. Uncertain. I'm going to be spearheading this project... expected to provide OT insights, suggestions and perspective, tweaking and influencing the overall direction it takes based on my "expertise" in function, while also coordinating and carrying out the whole thing according to sound research design and principles. It's a huge task. Not your typical well-defined OT role that would provide some measure of comfort to a new graduate. It's terrifying. But, well... it's also an incredible opportunity, that I need to honour, appreciate and embrace. So I'll wholeheartedly attempt to welcome the unknown with open arms, all the while reminding myself that no matter what happens, life will be teaching me what I need to know, when I need to know it. All I have to do is listen and learn...xo Janine
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